Two Types of Emotional Avoiders
Type 1 – The Emotionally Unavailable Partner: Some people just don’t relate to the world in term of emotions or emotional needs. It’s not that they don’t care about you or the relationship, it’s just that emotions just aren’t on their radar. They have very low need for nurturance from others or to need to nurture others. They don’t turn to others to solve their problems, instead preferring to handle things themselves. They are islands emotionally because they are pretty much self-sustaining. They are not particular angry; often they don’t have a clue as to why their partner is so upset with them.
Type 2 – The Stonewaller: This type of emotional avoider is reacting to what they perceive as an angry partner. They too are angry but they handle it by emotionally shutting down and walling off which further infuriates the other. They shut down to avoid further trouble with their spouse. But ironically, they get into more emotional trouble by withdrawing or staying silent. This is because partners of Stonewaller feel invalidated, not understood, and emotionally frustrated.